What luck! ... and gee, what luck

The tortured twisting burning desires
of my mind are writhing with furious force inside me
screaming LET ME OUT!
for my true nature is to let the truth always be told
I pride myself
on never hiding anything from my friends
yet what can I do
for if I let it out
I may ruin the best
the only
wonderfully glorious
thing I have always wished for
and throw it away like so much
dust on a blustery day in the desert...
Please God, show me a way
or increase my patience
or I may just wither away
consumed by the forces
of civil war within me...
this may be
the biggest and most important test
of my entire life